Divorce Sucks Ass

Well, as my first post alluded to, my once happy family of 4 was no longer.

I made the very difficult decision to leave with my kids, my ex was an extreme narcissistic man who was diagnosed bipolar as well and I felt we could no longer coexist as husband and wife. I also could no longer handle the extreme moods and temper of a man I was supposed to love as my husband and father to our children.

Walking on eggshells day in and day out never knowing what type of man was coming home that day, hiding in the bedroom with our kids because he was raging and I was afraid he would hurt them, ducking when he would throw the remote or other objects at my head, dodging the punches he would throw at the doors and cupboards, etc…staying for the sake of the children was doing no favors for any of us so I left.

Call me a coward, call me selfish, call me whatever names you want, I did what I felt was best for our children and would do it all over again.

What I failed to think about at the time was just how difficult divorce and the subsequent co-parenting would become.

I never thought the level of hate and anger from a man who used to love me would reach such epic levels that he would call me a slut in front of our kids and family, that he would turn everyone including my own family against me with his lies and manipulations, that I would relinquish any control I had left to just get him to leave me alone.

And that's just the tip of the epic shit show I was about to go through…and I will apologize ahead of time if it seems disjointed. I've never written about my hell before and since I am currently in therapy being treated for C-PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder, I felt now was as good a time as any to get out my thoughts and feelings and maybe, just maybe help someone else to feel like they aren't alone in their misery.

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